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Ask Dr. ArtisQ. How do I make sense of what I am feeling after losing a loved one?at Old Town Helotes Circle Saturday, December 15, 2018 6:30 and 7:30 pm Refreshments ProvidedSponsored by Helotes Area ChurchesPool • SpasHot Tubs • Route Repair • Retail Family & Veteran Owned (210)819-4472Follow Mary and Joseph to the manger, hear the great story, and enjoy the music of the season.A. When you lose something or someone close to you it is natural to feel pain or grief. Grief is a natural response to death or loss. The grieving process is an opportunity to appropriately mourn a loss and then heal. There are specific stages of grief and they reflect common reactions people have as they try to make sense of a loss.An important part of the healing process is feeling and accepting the emotions that come as a result of the loss. Let’s review the common stages of grief that some people go through.Stage 1 is called Denial and you may experience numbness and shock. Numbness is a normal reaction to a death or loss and should never be confused with not caring because you aren’t showing any outward emotion. This stage of grief helps to protect us from experiencing the intensity of the loss which can be useful when we have to take some action, such as reviewing important papers, notifying relatives, or planning a funeral. As we move through the experience and slowly acknowledge its impact, the initial denial and disbelief fades.Stage 2 is called Bargaining and is marked by persistent thoughts about what “could have been done” to prevent death or loss. Some people become obsessed with thinking about specific ways things could have been done differently to save the person’s life or prevent the loss. If this stage isn’t dealt with and resolved, a person may live with intense feelings of guilt or anger that can interfere with the healing process.Stage 3 is called Depression. In this stage, we begin to realize and feel the true extent of the death or loss. Common signs of depression in this stage might include trouble sleeping, poor appetite, fatigue, lack of energy, and crying spells. Some people also experience self-pity and feel lonely, isolated, empty, lost, and anxious.St. Nick - continued from page 17faithful, and he eventually was named the patron saint of everyone from merchants to sailors to pawnbrokers.No one really knows what St. Nicholas looked like. But in 2005, a forensic laboratory in England reviewed historical data and photographs of the remains taken from St. Nicholas’ grave in the 1950s. Researchers concluded that he was a small man, perhaps no more than five feet in height, with a broken nose.This image certainly does not fit with the robust frame and other imagery awarded St. Nicholas in more modern years. St. Nicholas is believed to be the inspiration for Santa Claus, which was a name taken from the Dutch Sinterklaas, a contracted form of Sint Nicolass, or St. Nicholas.Tales of the real St. Nicholas’ giving spirit were blended with a fictional personification by New York-based newspaper writers whoStage 4 is called Anger. Please know that anger is very common and happens when we feel helpless and powerless. Anger can stem from feelings of abandonment because of the death of a loved one (i.e. you left me). Sometimes we are angry at God (i.e. how could you let this happen), at the doctors or nurses who cared for our loved one (i.e. you could have done more), or towards life in general (i.e. she was so young).Stage 5 is called Acceptance because, in time, we can come to terms with all the emotions and feelings we experienced when the death or loss happened. Healing can begin once the loss becomes integrated into our set of life experiences. The grieving process is helped when you acknowledge grief, find support, and allow time for grief to work. It is important to note that throughout our lives, we may return to some of these earlier stages of grief, such as depression or anger. You may also experience high emotions when you are reminded of them on their birthdays, anniversaries, or holidays as well as by a smell in the air, the empty side of the bed, or simply the thought of the one you love. Since, in my opinion, there are no rules or time limit to the grieving process, everyone’s healing process will be different. Lastly, I believe our loved ones would want us to remember them rather than to grieve them. They might say, “Remember my life and not my death, remember my laugh, remember our talks, and remember the good times we shared. Simply, remember me.”Dr. Carletta N ArtisDr. Carletta N. Artis is aDoctor of Psychology, Author, Pro- fessor, Life Coach, TV/Radio Host, and Motivational Speaker. Submit your questions for this feature to the St. Nicholas name with the appearance of a Dutch town citizen. The goal was to reach out to the primarily Dutch immigrants living in New York at the time. This jolly elf image was given a boost by the publication of “A Visit From St. Nicholas,” which was published around the same time.Eventually, the merry Santa Claus portrayal began to outshine the more accurate St. Nicholas version as a religious man, fostered by political drawings and caricatures that depicted Santa as a chubby sort in a red suit. That image prevails to this day.Beneath the Christmas symbolism, the beard and the presents associated with Santa Claus lies a tale of generosity that originated with St. Nicholas.December Meeting PresentersSusie Williams Mays YMCAASSOCIATION􏰀Building Business Connectionswww.ar151ba.comCome enjoy a cup of coffee and a complimentary continental breakfast.Misty Dunn The Heritage At Westover HillsArt Stopper IES Texas SolarHave the opportunity to make a 30 second introduction of you and your business. We will be looking for presenters for future Breakfast & Business Networking Events. Each month there will be a main presenter with 15 minutes to share on a topic that can inform and 2 presenters who can share about their business within 3 minutes. At the December breakfast, interested parties who want to present, can enter their name in the hat to be drawn that morning.When: Thursday, December 6, 2018 Time: Check -in 8:00 am - 9:30 amContinental Breakfast Served 8:00 am to 8:30 am Where: Mays YMCA At Potranco8765 Texas 151Access oadSan Antonio, TX 78245 Cost: FREESponsored By:Space Limited, Must RSVP • 210-744-3488December/January 18 21Free!HCNA/151RBUSOINMEALASS

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